Tribute to Grandmothers !

As a famous proverb goes, God Could Not be everywhere, so He Created Mothers.

We will undeniably agree with influence of a woman in our lives as a mother. It is the word "Mother” that our lips desire to inaugurate our speech with and heart desires to inaugurate our feelings with.Mother signifies unconditional love and when conferred the title “GRAND”, her contributions towards our existence get manifold and immense. Her eyes have seen it all, generations representing her legacy continue to have a hue of her personality. She has excelled and played all the possible roles, a woman is entailed to perform in her lifetime.She is a valuable key that holds the treasures of our unfathomable spiritual culture and tradition. As a woman, she is a perfect epitome of compassion, balance and courage. Her embrace provides us with an immediate solace from any discomfort and her selfless service towards her family and society makes her uncomparable.

A grandmother represents reservoir of experience, selfless service, unconditional love, culture, traditions and spiritual heritage. Team at Shehjar is pleased to present interview of two grandmothers Smt.Nirmala Devi Pandit, Smt.Jayashree Kaul to be continued with more in our next issue. We hope their beautiful message to the readers especially to the younger generation will be implemented effortlessly in our daily lives.

Through this article, Shehjar thanks and salutes every grandmother whose soft and sweet lullabies and fascinating stories brighten our lives even today. We owe our growth and existence to you .Thank you!

Interview 1 :"Smt. Nirmala Devi Pandit"

Smt. Nirmala Devi Pandit. Wife of Late Shri. Niranjan nath Pandit and mother of Ashok Pandit. A spiritual saint and a social thinker.

Bhumika : Please tell us about the place in Kashmir you grew?
Nirmala Devi: Though, I was born in Lucknow. I grew up in Kashmir in Karfali Mohalla, Habbakadal, and Srinagar. I was brought up by my uncle. Late. Shri Somnath Bhatt.

Bhumika :How easy/difficult was it for you to adjust to a new place after migrating from Kashmir?
Nirmala Devi: For a woman adjusting to newer surrounding comes as a natural instinct. The pain of migration was very excruciating. It was like uprooting a full grown tree and trying to replant in a new place. Though the tree takes on to the soil, but they are never the same once uprooted. Once we landed in Mumbai. Mumbai had become my new home. Though it was never like Kashmir, it was the place where my family grew up, where I saw the third generation of my family springing up. As days past I created my Kashmir in the heartland of Mumbai itself. But the thought of returning never died in my or my late husband’s heart for once. Some where along my son, Ashok and Neerja, My daughter-in-law inherited the same passion for the land and he continued the heritage of the struggle of his father to return back to the motherland one day.

Bhumika :You have seen three generations and how are they different/ similar from your generation.
Nirmala Devi : One cannot forget that these different generations are our blood and genes only. They cannot be every different from us. But the surrounding one grows up does reflect the upbringing. One does miss seeing the care freeness that we had in us while growing up in the valley, spiritual…..

Bhumika : What are you special / cherished memories that you would like to share with the readers?
Nirmala Devi : One common dream of every Kashmiri definitely is Kashmir -- our homeland. Everything of Kashmir is cherished in my memories. I miss the aura, the vibrations, the love and the affection of my Guru Aadarniya Parampujya Shri Gobind Kaul from Vanpoh (Anantnag). There was a human like quality amongst his cows, whenever my husband (Late Shri Niranjannath Pandit) and I would visit with my children, those very cows would greet us. His company would shower with his divine strength and power.
I also miss the company of a Sufi saint Respected Aahad Zargar Sahab who also was the guru of my mother-in-law Late Bhagyawani a poet and a saint herself. My entire life in Kashmir was full of love and affection. I miss my Brair maej (Devi temple) temple in murran from where my husband belonged. The sounds of the “Behenji aa aiye” from the villagers still echoes. The nulmuts (hugs) of the innocent villagers are still felt and missed by me. The list is too long; so many memories cannot be just put up in so few words….

Bhumika : Advice to all the readers, especially future generation.
Nirmala Devi:Be a good human being. Love and respect everyone. Have trust, confidence in oneself and only then God will be with you. Surrender fully to the almighty and he will be with you always. Ego and arrogance is the biggest enemy of oneself.

About My Husband Late. Shri. Niranjan nath Pandit.The biggest inspiration of my life has been my husband. It won’t be wrong to say he was my soul bearer. His divine presence enhanced the quality of spiritual living around me. Through him I met my reverend mother-in-law who was a guiding spirit, though he was a spiritual entity he never believed in locking himself in a room and enlightenment. He found his enlightenment in the service of humanity, after the migration I discovered a new being when he had opened the doors of our house, never bothering that how would we manage so many people coming into our house. I realized that this man was no ordinary being who never said no to anyone who came to him at the cost of anything.

Interview 2 : "Jayashree Kaul"

Maiden name Sheela Kaw was rechristened Jayashree Kaul after marriage, was born in a large family of reasonable means. I was second of the surviving six sisters and two brothers. I lived my childhood like a free bird and got married at a tender age of 16. Mine is an arranged marriage. My husband comes from a family distantly related to mine and well respected. My in-laws were noble, large hearted loving and considerate. Though not exactly like the prince charming of my dreams in looks, my husband's winsome qualities of head and heart won me over and we struck a chord with each other instantly. Having been given an impression from the day I could comprehend meanings of words that a girl's ultimate destiny is marriage and she has to go to "kainsi hund gare" (somebody’s- meaning husband's- house).
When I "MIGRATED” from Srinagar in 1957 I had two children in tow with the younger, my son, in arms. The journey which ultimately turned into a migration in the real sense of the word was to Sindri, Bihar where my husband was undergoing apprenticeship in Sindri Fertilizers and chemicals, the premiere fertilizer plant of the country. I shall ever remember with gratitude the young Kashmiri couple, husband a senior apprentice colleague of my hubby, whom I accompanied for my first ever train journey, that too a long one, to " piya ke pardaes".
Our children were brought up under my tender care and their father's strict eye. No mistake, mischief or misdemeanor would go unpunished. I have moved with my husband and children from Bihar to Punjab, to Mumbai, to Gujarat and have finally settled down at Vadodara where my husband leads a retired life. But, THERE NO PRESCRIBED RETIREMENT AGE FOR A HOUSEWIFE!
I had the good fortune of becoming a grand mother for the first time at the age of 44. I am proud of my children and grandchildren for the love and respect I receive from them. Though away from me, it is the love I receive from them that makes me feel that am so lucky and sustains me.
Bhumika :Please tell us about the place in Kashmir you grew?
Jayashree Kaul : I was born at Khanaqahi Sokhta, Safakadal, Srinagar, and Kashmir and passed my carefree and restraint- free childhood at my parents' place and for a short while at Jammu and Udhampur.

Bhumika :How easy/difficult was it for you to adjust to a new place after migrating from Kashmir?
Jayashree Kaul : I migrated much before the forced migration of 1990 under circumstances detailed out in my biographical sketch. It was to an entirely new and alien environment, climate, culture, language, food habits and so on. But the cosmopolitan population of that industrial town, my husband's patience and tolerance and emotional and social support from the few KP families at Sindri made it easy for me to adjust to the strange atmosphere.

Bhumika : You have seen three generations and how are they different/ similar from your generation?
Jayashree Kaul : From generation to generation people have become more and more liberated in thought, action, speech, enterprise etc. Respect and consideration for older generation is not as it used to be in my time. Not are the same restrictions. Homes have broken up and families have shrunk. This is partly circumstantial.

Bhumika : What are you special / cherished memories that you would like to share with the readers?
Jayashree Kaul : I cherish the love and affection, freedom and respect that I received at the hands of my noble parents-in-law and all others in my SASURAL, and the joy of having lived for 5 golden years in a doting joint family of 21 members not counting ever present guests and stay inns was fondly called `Rani` and actually lived like a Rani. My only regret is I did not get an opportunity to serve my parents-in-law enough for death took them away too soon!

Bhumika :Advice to all the readers, especially future generation.
Jayashree Kaul : It would be presumptuous on my part to offer advice to anybody. I would only make request and plead as follows-Please hold your community & culture in respect. Learn your mother tongue and converse in it. Observe your festivals with devotion and your customs with austerity. Do not be ostentatious and help your community and its members in whatsoever way you can. If marriageable look for a suitable match within the community. Inculcate in yourselves and in your children high ethical values. Be considerate to elders and to the extent you can, give them emotional support. Do not consider them as a burden but as a sacred responsibility. May God bless you all!